Mike in comment 30 is spot on!- Service teams are trained and paid to give the guest an “experience”. Guests may not remember the meal or the decor exactly but they will always remember exactly how you made them “feel”. This dictates a return visit or lack thereof.

I often receive compliments on my service team and they repeatedly include terms like– “was very pleasant, polite, caring and attentive.” If you’re a server and you forget something, apologize and don’t try to defend yourself or kick another area of the restaurant under the bus; If you’re a guest and you’re server has been pleasant and polite, treat them like a person, not like a bottom feeder—it’s not an easy job—it takes patience, skill, commitment and stamina.

Reading your post was like anti-learning. I suspect this is because you are a fucking retard. You have no idea what you are talking about. No fucking clue. Go to applebees or olivegarden or wherever it is that you think you are entitled to taking a refill of your “endless refill” drink togo. While you are at it maybe you can go to the olive garden and eat soup salad and breadsticks and then maybe ask for a set togo because its “all you can eat”, right? One thing everyone here needs to understand is that your personal quirks or opinions regarding individual services DO NOT FUCKING MATTER. Please do not be so stupid as to think that they do, because they dont. You do however make yourself look awfully stupid by trying to pass them off as universal service standards.
Springs what you are missing is that David is likely an experienced server and knows how to dine. Whether or not you know about it, there is a certain repertoire for dining. You may go out to a nicer establishment and dine with your ignorant ways and they will listen to you, give you what you want, and hear your stupid fucking complaints. The difference between serving you and their expected clientele is that they don’t really want or enjoy having you there, but they will serve you with a smile on their face and pretend to appreciate your ignorance until you leave at which point they will likely hope you never return. You can go on and on about the customer is always right and spending your money but it doesn’t change the fact that there is an established standard for dining that ignorant fucks like yourself are apparently oblivious of. Servers arent there to stroke your ego and make you feel warm and cuddly. They are there to do their job and I assure you they know how to do their job better than you think you know how to do their job.

I ASK for multiple things at once like even times 5-7 things even, the problem is, NO SERVERS EVER **WRITE DOWN** you want things like a box, a check a bag, some containers for condiments, refills, extra napkins, more bread, etc. Also, most servers even when they do write things down, 9 times out of 10, I find they don’t COMPARE THEIR WRITTEN ORDER with the food for any obvious errors.

So honestly, I can 100% understand WHY customers ask for things one at a time, because of the LAZY servers that don’t want to take the ******EFFORT******* it takes to try to ***REMEMBER*** ALL OF THE STUFF>

Also, I have had MANY of times servers not ask but ONE person at the table or run off so quickly that you don’t have a CHANCE to ask for more than one thing because they are too lazy to write the stuff down so they just WANT to get one thing at a time, otherwise, WHY do they not write things down and ask if **EVERYONE** else at the table needs anything else?

So I try still, but honestly, most servers will not write stuff down and then forget things. For example, once I asked for:

1. a box
2. the check
3. a bag
4. a to-go coke

Our waitress decided to be LAZY and not write any of that down, so she forgot the bag. Now, if she would have WRITTEN IT DOWN, see how much **EASIER** it would have been for her to go down her list that 99% of the times she would have done this, she would NOT have forgotten it. I have forgotten things even if I wrote down things such as on my grocery lists, the thing is I forget SOOOO MUCH MORE if I don’t write things down than when I do.

She didn’t even say she was sorry about the bag. I just simply asked for a bag again, wasn’t mean or anything, but still servers want your money, but they don’t want to be NICE to you? I don’t get that, I really don’t?

So your advice honestly is stupid, because most of the time servers cannot remember by memory alone and they REFUSE to write things down like that.

I have had once a waiter I asked for a refill, more bread, and napkins. He forgot the napkins. He didn’t write those tasks down either to ****TRY*** to remember them. That’s the issue I have more than the fact that he forgot, but the fact that he didn’t even **TRY**, so to me when I see LAZINESS and UNCARING in a server, I tend to tip less than if they did write it down, then got it wrong. When you put forth EFFORT, you should get more than when you are being lazy on the job. Wouldn’t you agree?

“1. Respond to your server.
When I offer a warm greeting to you and your group when you are seated, and not one of you bothers to look up at me, or respond, you are being rude. When I bring drinks, extra napkins you’ve asked for, or refil your water, say “thank you”. It is polite, and you are required to be polite. I certainly don’t expect you to say “thank you” every time I bring something to your table, and if you are in mid conversation, by all means I don’t mean to interrupt, but be concious that I am a human, and be pleasant. ”

I DO, the problem I have is with servers that don’t say they are SORRY when they mess up. I would say a good 95% of servers out there DO NOT APOLOGIZE for their mistakes. They think if we feel they are at fault, we will count against the tip, but in fact, it’s the opposite that we already know most of the time(not always, but most) WHO was at fault, so if they were, by saying they were sorry not only calmed me down, but also made me tip better because they had a HEART and were NICE PEOPLE, not mean and uncaring people. When they don’t apologize, I take more off the tip because they were mean and I was more polite to them than they were to me by telling them “Thank you” for fixing the messed up item, but they didn’t say they were sorry for delaying my food from getting correctly to me. To me, I don’t feel servers act like CUSTOMERS are human. They act like we are money bags rather than PEOPLE that have FEELINGS!!